Church Outfits · Lifestyle · My Rhema

Wife Me | Double Standards for the Miss.

It’s official! I’m going to be a Wife🙌. Let that marinade 🙌💓 

Is it marinating? Has it marinated? Why I’m I talking about marinade… Now I’m craving ribs😅. Okay I’m just kidding. But I bet you knew that because, well I won’t be announcing such online in this manner. Please excuse my photobombing sister 👭.

Over the past 6 months I’ve been blessed to experience so many weddings of friends and family both in Cameroon & South Africa. I always feel so over joyed to see two people I value become one. I like to tell myself I’m not into mushy stuff but weddings just bring out the teary eyed me. While marriage is truly a beautiful thing, I feel there is unarguable pressure at times to commit and settle down after a certain age. This relates to all race groups and cultures, particularly from women towards the younger lady concerned.

I can speak from an African perspective because that’s what I know. Once a lady hits 25 years or even earlier, already the aunties and uncles some which you never even talked to start lining up and showering you with questions about when you’re going to get married. They start making you feel like you have a problem or you are inferior to your mates who are married or engaged. Infact, you yourself may have everything going for you, good job, a car, a house but no husband and also just feel unfulfilled. But why is it that bachelors have it easier when it comes to this matter?

Well here’s the only thing I think makes the imbalance make sense, although I’m not justifying it in anyway. In women, conceiving at an older age may be detrimental to the health of a baby. It may be born with a physical or cognitive impairment. But this risk only begins from 35years+. And men, well no wahala in their case even if they marry at 50😂. 

With this said, we live in a new day and age where so much can be done to help a woman conceive and maintain her pregnancy way over 35years. Education is also crucial in preventing oneself from becoming a prey to a forced marriage. Because if a lady lacks an education or a skill her family may push her into marriage because they cannot provide for her anymore and she cannot provide for herself. Marriage is something so precious and holy. A covenant with God. Not something to quickly rush into because time is running out. I mean, you’re going to be stuck to the flesh of your flesh for the rest of your life 😶. A covenant is way more than a mere agreement, because God is involved.

Genesis 2:24

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Matthew 19:5-6

 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The double standards between bachelors and  bachelorettes have always been there and will be sticking around. But at the end of the day, it shouldn’t be cause for too much debate, but rather, prayer for revelation and discernment on the journey to becoming a Mrs.

So you read through the memoirs of a very unmarried 21 turning 22 year old female 😂. Let’s laugh together😂. I wore this outfit to my Sunday school teacher’s wedding back in Cameroon and thought to add it to this post for outfit inspiration.

P.s. I do feel some men face this marriage pressure too, but it’s at a much later age than women. 

Miss Joan A.


24 thoughts on “Wife Me | Double Standards for the Miss.

  1. Hahahahahaha….Nice one, i was already like whattt???. Thank God that more and more women are beginning to understand that its okay for society to place demands on you, but it’s up to you to decide what is best for you. Funny enough men too are settling early these days. Well like every other event/milestone, marriage will happen when it will

    Liked by 3 people

    1. 😂😂😂😂… Gotcha! Eyyy the time has not yet come ooo. The truth is, people will always talk. It’s just up to us to decide how we want to react 😊, like you say. And when it happens, it happens. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Gurl… this issue will continue to be talked about and there will be no change (this I have concluded). At my age, the number of when will you get married, where is your husband that I have heard doesn’t move me anymore because there is time for everything under the sun.

    I enjoyed reading this!

    Oréoluwa’s blog

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I have concluded too. It’s here to stay sadly. The funny thing is, the people who ask the most at times are not even your direct parents or family😂. Thanks for enjoying😄🙌. I’m happy 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Interesting read! I have narrowed down the pressure, to only last for the period between finding a mate to the wedding day! And then everyone who pressured you suddenly fades away. The big question though is which is more important, the wedding ceremony plus the ring and the title or the marriage itself?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your opinion on the situation🙌. When it’s the wedding ceremony, the people who faded away will reappear, then when the marriage begins, they will fade again and it’s just the 2 who will remain. I like your pressure narrowing method😂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You are so right. There are valid reasons for women to marry early but there’s no valid reason for anybody to enter into a marriage covenant and tie themselves to anyone for life just because of pressure.
    People can try to pressure us but it’s the pressure we give ourselves that’s worst. Not allowing ourselves be pressured to get married is a conscious decision. There has to be a level of confidence and self assuredness which won’t allow pressure get to us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your insight Bisi 😊. I was having this conversation with my sisters, which is what inspired the post. The sad thing is, when we young ladies eventually build up that level of self confidence and assuredness, it’s seen as arrogance or just being overly confident to the point that it repels guys. But honestly, that’s the way to go. I’d rather be like that than to be pressured into anything. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha…That’s a whole other story altogether for real😂. Then people will begin to spread stories about how somebody went and did this and that to your womb. Eyyy Africa. God’s timing is best indeed. Amen. And once in marriage, decisions are between you and hubby, so everyone else can just calm down abit😅

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Nice pictures!

    Thanks for sharing your perspective. As a Hispanic American I have seen the exact same thing in Hispanic culture. In fact unmarried women are called ‘jamona’ (means ‘ham’) in Puerto Rico.

    Liked by 1 person

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