He asked me if we can be more than friends, I said “No”, he disappeared.
This one scenario is all too familiar for most ladies nowadays, globally. It bothers me to highlight the fact that many girls are stigmatised for saying ” No” by their friends, relatives or even the guy himself. They say it’s emasculating, you’re acting tough, you’re being snobbish, you will end up unmarried… The list goes on. But only you and you alone truly understand why you had to say no.
I got permission from a friend to share this story of hers concerning this matter. A few years ago, she reconnected with a family friend of hers. He was single, very wealthy and kind. They had not spoken for almost a decade, so she was quite happy to spend some time catching up. However, she had no interest in him romantically and tried to keep things on the friendship level. After so long, it was more like getting to know a stranger. But then, in less than a month of being reunited and not truly knowing each other, he asked her to be more than his friend, as in to date. And she said “No” explaining that she only saw him as a friend and didn’t want to make things awkward between them as she was not attracted to him. After she told him that, she never heard from him again. He disappeared.
I believe when you understand your worth, who you are, what you deserve, and what you want in life, then you develop a sharper more refined system of navigation to only settle for what you know you deserve. Don’t just settle. Be sure!
1. Know your worth
Almost everyday, as I bounce around campus, I see girls who do not know their worth. Settling for the wealthy possibly married men who can satisfy their desire for expensive gifts temporarily, for a prize ofcause. Or that student experimenting with the most revealing outfit, in an attempt to gain attention, temporarily. When you grasp the fact that you are more than just a physical body to marvel at, but rather a woman who requires permanent emotional, intellectual and physical connection, then already, you will be compelled to say “No” to temporary and the physical attractions.
2. Know who you are
I don’t know about you, but I’m the daughter of a King. I am not some toy to be tossed back and forth by anyone. As women who are fearfully and wonderfully made, we have to carry ourselves with grace both physically and mentally. I believe that the holy spirit actually communicates with us, when to say “No”. It’s just such a clear unquestionable feeling that saying ” No” is the right decision. And it’s up to us to actually do so or wind up getting hurt. So, do you know who you are?
3. Know what you deserve
How much value you have for yourself will determine what you think you deserve and who you eventually settle for . It’s all about self worth, self respect and self esteem, manifesting as what you deserve. If self worth is low, then one might actually settle for less than they deserve. Which is why it’s so important to know who you are so that you can know what you deserve.
4. Know what you want in life
This is the literally from the time you wake up tomorrow morning till however far you can envision. A Vision. Have a vision. What job, what country, what type of household, what kind of spiritual life, what kinds of pets😂, what kind of partner…You get the point I’m sure 😀. Pray about your plans daily, pray for God to align you divinely with his will for your life. The same God who you’ve been planning with knows of a certain gentleman who’s been praying with him and planning towards a similar vision too. And somehow you think you two just happened to be in that queue on that same day by chance – it’s called a predestined divine meeting. The navigation of two hearts😂. Okay I’ll stop. Had to break the seriousness there.
Please, when we say “No” it’s for reasons far deeper than seeking to emasculate & we should not be condemned for it. Know your worth. Then add tax to it. Don’t settle, wait for that predestined divine meeting.